How Religion Leads to Shame and Guilt-From a Trauma Therapist Perspective
As a trauma therapist, I have encountered numerous clients who carry heavy emotional burdens stemming from the influence of organized religion in their lives. While spirituality and faith can be a source of comfort and support, certain religious doctrines and practices may inadvertently lead to extreme shame and guilt throughout major adolescent milestones and adulthood. In this blog, we will explore how these issues manifest and the potential benefits of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) in helping this population find healing and resolution.
The Roots of Shame and Guilt
Organized religion often instills moral values and principles that shape individuals' beliefs and behaviors from a young age. While these teachings can have positive effects on one's character, they may also inadvertently create shame and guilt when specific actions or feelings are deemed sinful or morally wrong. For instance, natural human desires and emotions such as sexuality, anger, or doubt may be condemned, leading individuals to suppress these feelings or view themselves as unworthy and flawed.
Example: Sarah grew up in a conservative religious community emphasizing purity and abstinence before marriage. As an adult, she struggles with shame and guilt over her past relationships, even though she is now in a loving and committed marriage. The religious teachings about premarital sex continue to haunt her and affect her self-esteem.
The Role of EMDR in Healing Religious Shame and Guilt
EMDR is a therapeutic approach that has shown remarkable effectiveness in helping individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences. For those burdened by religious shame and guilt, EMDR can be a powerful tool to reprocess distressing memories and challenging beliefs, leading to positive behavioral changes and emotional healing.
Challenging Maladaptive Beliefs: EMDR can help clients challenge and reevaluate deep-seated religious beliefs contributing to shame and guilt. Individuals can develop a healthier and more balanced perspective by identifying the origin of these beliefs and processing the associated emotions.
Example: John grew up in a religious environment that stigmatized homosexuality. He suppressed his true identity for years, feeling intense shame about his sexual orientation. Now John has major abandonment issues in his relationships because of his experience of being neglected by his community. Through EMDR, he can confront the harmful messages from his past and embrace his authentic self without guilt, and build healthier relationships where he doesn’t carry a fear of rejection.
Processing Traumatic Religious Experiences: Some individuals have experienced traumatic events within their religious communities, such as emotional or physical abuse in the name of faith. EMDR can aid in processing these traumas and reducing their emotional burden.
Example: Alex was subjected to harsh discipline and public shaming in his religious community for questioning certain teachings. EMDR helps him release the shame and guilt associated with doubting his beliefs and empowers him to question constructively without fear.
Differences Among Gender and Sexual Orientations
The impact of organized religion on shame and guilt may vary across genders and sexual orientations due to specific doctrines and societal expectations.
Men and Women: Traditional gender roles reinforced by some religious practices may result in distinct sources of shame and guilt. Men might experience shame for vulnerability or emotional expression, while women may face guilt over choices seen as nonconformist to societal expectations.
Heterosexual and Homosexual Populations: LGBTQ+ individuals often encounter heightened shame and guilt due to religious teachings that label their identities as sinful. This can lead to internalized homophobia and self-loathing, making the therapeutic process more complex but equally important.
As a trauma therapist, I have witnessed the profound impact of organized religion on the shame and guilt carried by individuals into adulthood. The combination of societal expectations, dogmatic beliefs, and traumatic experiences can create emotional burdens that hinder personal growth and well-being. However, EMDR offers hope for those struggling with religious shame and guilt, providing a path to healing and self-acceptance. By challenging maladaptive beliefs and processing traumatic experiences, clients can reclaim their identities, free from the weight of religious shame and guilt.